June 30, 2008
Do they change character when they drink? Are you fed up with their double personality? Are you about to explode? The best thing you can do is stop trying to get them to give up alcohol.
It really doesn’t make any difference whatsoever, nagging on them to give up as all it leads to is making you emotionally stressed out and therefore less able to help that person who is so special to you. It is impossible to verbally over power an alcoholic as you need a delicate control over the situation. With this in mind you can reach inside an alcoholic and have some effect on their life.
You must always bear in mind that you are helping the person that you married and loved and not the alcoholic. Ignore them when they have got a drink inside them and they are looking for an argument and ignore any form of emotional nonsense. Make sure it sinks into them the fact that you will not be provoked when they are drunk and stick to your guns.
If they insist on provoking, you should just leave the situation by going into another room, go and visit somebody you know, go out for a long stroll or just listen to your MP3. You need to maintain a strong mind as you are the one who has the power to stop them drinking by making them see for themselves that they really do have a problem.
It is a very sad fact that the person on the receiving end is as mentally and emotionally ill as the alcoholic himself. This is why the innocent party must set their own limits for what they are going to take from their partner while they are drunk.
Whatever you do, don’t allow them to see that their behavior is affecting you as their whole ploy is to irritate you, so make sure you don’t give them that satisfaction. When they do get into a state turn your back on them and try and see right through them to the person you used to know and love.
Now comes a long list of DON’TS so you don’t encourage their behavior. Don’t assist them to bed. Don’t allow them to drive while under the influence. Don’t allow them to argue with you while drunk. Ignore them and Don’t be forced into anything. Don’t supply them with any booze even if they get down onto their hands and knees. Under no circumstances Don’t treat them with understanding and certainly do not pay them any extra attention.
When they are sober you need to do the exact opposite(except buying booze), and tell them just how much they mean to you and that you are concerned about their health. Tell them or remind them of the terrible things that you and the rest of the family have to support while they are drunk as they really do need reminding.
All these points will make life living with an alcoholic just that little bit more easier and it will aid the burden of their abuses towards you. Sadly in a way you are not alone and you can discover other peoples experiences on stop drinking alcohol related blogs and it will soon come to light that your world can change and your partner too.